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One Year

I didn't imagine what it would be like having kids. Sure, I always assumed that I would, but I never envisioned myself as a mom. Only when my husband and I were dating did I start thinking about what family life might look like. Once we started having those conversations, I'm pretty sure I hopped onto whatever popular opinion was most prominent at the time:  I'd have a natural, unmedicated birth,  I'd breastfeed for a year or so,  We'd use cloth diapers,... all that jazz. Then I had my firstborn - after saying yes to assisted labor after 50 hours - and soon learned that breastfeeding was hard for me. Every. Part. Of. It. The latching, positioning, milk producing, the supplementing, the crying (from hungry baby & frustrated mama), the guilt and anger and feelings of inadequacy. All hard. By the time my son was 3 months old I was a wreck - and likely experiencing postpartum depression. I pumped after each nursing session in an effort to trick my body into producin

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